COVIDian Rhapsody
I got a bit silly today… My apologies to Queen for my butchery of their epic tune.
This is the real-life, this isn’t fantasy.
It’s a pandemic, no guarantee of immunity.
Open your arms, let’s spread all my germs and see
That I’m just a virus, I have no sympathy.
Because I’m easy come, hard to go, little high, massive low.
Anywhere the wind blows, I’ll be there to infect you with me, with me.
Mama! Just killed a man.
Put a cough inside his chest, replicated, now he’s dead.
Mama! Just wanted to do bats.
Now they’re trying to eradicate me.
Mama - ooh! I didn’t mean to Zoonose.
If I’m not here again after vaccinations
Infect bugs, Infect bugs because Man makes anti-virals.
Too late, I’ve mutated.
Jumping from man to man, taking taste and smell and then
Goodbye, functioning lungs, and heart health
Gotta leave them all half-dead, or maybe fine.
“Mama ooh, I don’t wanna die.
They all wish I’d never been born at all.
Infect bugs, Infect bugs. Because Man just wants to kill you.
I see many with a mask around their chin.
Scaramouche! Scaramouche! I can get around that mask, y’ know.
Hydrocholorquine or bleach, that’s not really frightening me.
Remsdevisir! Remsdevisir! Remsdevisir! Maybe so.
But I won’t go!
I’m just a virus. Yes, you all hate me.
He’s just a virus, can’t we just let him be
Sparing his life for our herd immunity
Easy come, hard to go, will you let me be?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you be
(Let him be) Bismillah! We will not let you be
(Immunity) Bismillah! We will not let you be
(Let him be) We will not let you be
(Immunity) We will not let you be
(Never, never, never, never let me be)
Ah No, no, Herd immunity
Oh, (Keep on trying, Keep on trying) Keep on trying to get me.
This pandemic has a world record put aside for me, for me, for meeeee!
*Musical Interlude*
So you think you can vaccinate against my kind!
Do you think you can stop me and get me to die?
No way, baby, I won’t go away that easily!
Just gonna take time, time for vaccines to appear.
Man makes vaccinations, eradicating me.
Man makes anti-virals.
I’ll be there to infect you with me,
Anywhere the wind blows.
I blame my colleagues; it’s all their fault for putting the idea in my head. I have no intention of offending anyone or making anyone relive their trauma where this pandemic is concerned. However, sometimes we have to make a bit of gallows humour to get through it.
